Debate: Joint family VS Nuclear family

[anamika]

When ever we think about Indian culture and tradition, then unlike the westerners we find that the concept of a “joint family” still holds true in many Indian households. There are many communities who take pride in the tradition, whereas the others beg to differ. For them the modern trend of “nuclear family” is very appealing and suits their modern and cosmopolitan life style. Now let us see what is the actually difference between the two.

In the olden days, the matriarch and the patriarch of the family tried to hold the members together in their large ancestral homes. The children were in good numbers and hence the whole bunch with their spouses and kids living in a palatial house made a very happy picture. The influence of the parents was so great that the children never thought of contradicting them and trying to live apart. Whatever was earned by the kids was handed over to the parents as a pool in the family income. The parents, who took care of the family needs and household budget, spent the money as they deemed fit and the children were given some amount to care for their personal needs. Hence it was all closely monitored affairs. The new additions to the family in the form of daughters-in-law also played a meek role and held on to the family traditions and culture as followed by their better halves and by their in-laws. The grand children were taught to respect their grandparents and the older uncles and aunts in the family. All the festivals were celebrated in a big gathering, in a way truly depicting the spirit of the festival and the entire family enjoyed the togetherness and camaraderie.

Now the scenario has changed. The kids who were involved in study & work place around their home, have started looking for better and bigger places to work & study, even if it means moving far away from home. The present economic situation has put all the aspiring candidates in a situation “beggars cannot be choosers”. This is said because there is a dearth of jobs and if one has to survive, there is but no option but to grab any job that comes your way. This also implies that one has to travel to a different city or even country to take up the bread & butter that is offered. This has resulted in the making of a nuclear family, where the young husband and wife try to cope up with the family routine and effectively juggling it with their careers. They are away from the parents and have all the liberties of decision making, budgeting at their disposal. This also holds true when it comes to raising their kids. These couples have their freedom, privacy and own pretty world where they are the king and queen of the domain.

This may all sound very exciting and challenging, but let us analyse the 2 totally diverse life styles and weigh the pros and cons.

JOINT FAMILY
1. The parents are the heads of the family
NUCLEAR FAMILY
1. The couple is independent.

JOINT FAMILY
2. The parents play the pivotal role in family decision making, financial budgeting, children’s future / careers / partner choice
NUCLEAR FAMILY
2. Since they are independent entities, all the decisions are taken by them.

JOINT FAMILY
3. It is mandatory to follow the customs and rituals set by the elders and participate in all the festivities decided by them.
NUCLEAR FAMILY
3. One has a freedom to choose their own life style and celebrate what they deem necessary.

JOINT FAMILY
4. Since there are many members in the family, crisis and emergencies are well taken care of.
NUCLEAR FAMILY
4. Since the couple is on their own, they do not have someone to fall back upon in case of emergency.(that is immediately)

JOINT FAMILY
5. Living together ensures that the financial pool comes handy if any one member is suddenly rendered jobless and does not have to worry immediately for resources to support his own family.
NUCLEAR FAMILY
5. In the present day job crisis and recession, if any one partner gets a pink slip, then the whole finances comes tumbling down and one has to resort to taking loan, etc to help make interim provisions.

JOINT FAMILY
6. The grand parents and uncles-aunts are too glad to welcome a newborn in the family and the baby grows in the warmth and love of all the surrounding members.Hence all its early stage care, illnesses are well attended to.
NUCLEAR FAMILY
6. Since the couple is working, they have but no option than to leave the baby either in the crèche or with a baby-sitter. This devoid the child of the parental love in its crucial growing up period and hence it is missing the values and culture which are inculcated under parental guidance.

JOINT FAMILY
7. Values, traditions and awareness of responsibilities towards one’s own family and then society come naturally when you grow up in a joint atmosphere.
NUCLEAR FAMILY
7. Since you choose to live an independent life, the social and family responsibilities are seen by many as burden and a hindrance to their freedom.

JOINT FAMILY
8. If there is any sickness or problem in the family, there are other members to take care of the situation.
NUCLEAR FAMILY
8. Living on your own may take you off guard in time of sudden illness as there is no helping hand to relieve you.

JOINT FAMILY
9. Living constantly under the guidance and pressure of the parents and other elders bars you from “growing up” and take control of your life.
NUCLEAR FAMILY
9. Being left to take care of yourself in this wide world (by choice) makes you a confident and bold individual.

JOINT FAMILY
10. There is no privacy or freedom for the youngsters or newly married people to start their “own life”, as everything is monitored by the elders.
NUCLEAR FAMILY
10. One can start the new married life on a high note as there is no peer pressure and you are the boss to chalk out your own life style.

Every thing has its positive and negative points. It is our decision as to what we want and which direction we wish to take.
Any more comments or ideas are welcome.