Effective bonding

[anamika]

Parenthood is a wonderful experience. It is a sense of fulfillment in every married couple’s life. But just giving birth to a child is not enough. Before one takes a plunge in this new, responsible role in life one must give it a serious thought ‘’ AM I TRULY PREPARED FOR THIS?’’
When a new life comes into this world, it comes with lot of apprehensions…….will I be loved? Will I be taken good care of? Will I be molded to be a healthy, wise and a good human being? We may not sense it, as it is not vocal at the time…..but the inner feeling is still there.
What is Parenting? It not only giving birth to a new individual, but to nurture it and inculcate good values in it so that in future it becomes a worthy human being.
Today’s young parents are so lost in their career and cash collection, that giving birth to a child means just a formality to them………a mandatory process to establish their married status. They do not have time to spare for the new born and as soon as the maternity leave is over, the poor helpless bundle is thrown in some crèche or left with a nanny. The present IT boom with its hefty pay packets enables them to pay for all these facilities and come to think of it……the poor souls believe that they are doing the best for their child. Little do they realize that the tender touch of the mother is more precious to the baby, than the outside paid one.
A good parent is one who can balance the act of being a career person as well as baby’s true companion. Take a break if you can, from your career for at least the 1st year, as it is a very crucial period in the newborn’s life. It is the formative period and whatever you teach him / her, goes a long way in molding its character. This is the time when the baby is adjusting to the new outer world and may be susceptible to various diseases and ailments. Thus it needs your constant attention and monitoring.
There are crèches and nannies who take good care of the kids, but what WE do for our child ourselves is totally different and more personal. A tender touch by the doting parents is all it takes to give the baby a sense of security and belonging. When a child is brought up in a personalized atmosphere, it grows up to be more confident, happy and a good human being………..not to mention a successful one too, in all its endeavors.
Talk to the baby as much as you can, it gives it a sense of communication and expressions. Spend quality time with your bundle of joy……..that helps in making it feel secure & loved and in turn, eases out your own stress and anxieties. A walk in the garden, a stroll on the beach, a visit to your near and dear ones ensure that the baby is exposed to the outside world and learns to interact with others.
Keep a good tab on its various schedules like a routine visit to the pediatrician, timely doses and immunization, proper food time-table.
As the child grows up, take interest in their activities. Motivate them and encourage them to excel in the field that interests them. Become an active participant in their school environment and monitor their studies with regular interaction with the teachers. If your child has a particular talent, nurture it and give it full freedom to bloom.
Adolescent years are very trying for both, the parent as well as the child. Teach them the true basic facts of life, so that they are prepared to take care of themselves in this vicious world. Do not boss too much, as this is a rebellious phase. Take them in confidence to discuss delicate issues or to guide them into proper living.
In the adolescent stage, it is imperative that the parents are aware of their child’s friend circle. Try and invite the friends over, get to know them. This way you will know the company that your child is in. If you find someone not decent enough, then carefully talk to your child about the person and advise him / her to keep off from such company. Any nagging or pushy tone will have an adverse effect and instead push your child into being a rebellion.
Now your little bundle has grown into an adult. Treat him/her like one!! You have shown them the way till now, taught them to differentiate the right from the wrong, made them responsible individuals. Now is the time for them to show that your efforts have not gone in vain. Once they start earning, let them enjoy the fruits of their labour. Do not ask them to give you details of every penny spent. This shows distrust in their capabilities to be good organizers. Your duty in their formative years was to make them aware of the value of money; now let them learn how to manage it.
Once they get married, learn to move away a little. Remember, they are individuals who have mind of their own, along with likes and dislikes. Let them lead their own life, make their own decisions and have their own family. This does not mean that you alienate yourself from them totally.
Let them know that you are ALWAYS there for them, in sorrow & joy, in good times & bad times. You are their pillar of strength, their motivation and fond admirers of their achievements. This makes a perfect family picture.