Do we need relatives?

[kavita]

When we come into this world, we become part of a clan. There are many people around us and we become an integral part of the group – society. The group includes our immediate family – parents & siblings, friends, relatives – uncles, aunts, nieces, nephews, in-laws, etc and last but not least, our neighbours – people who live around us in building, colony, etc.

People say that immediate family is the most unavoidable part of our existence. But as far as relatives are concerned, many are very skeptical of their involvement in your life. So the question is……..DO WE NEED RELATIVES?
Every individual has a different perspective of this thought. The present age demands more privacy & freedom and hence we see many youngsters opting for nuclear family as against the old fashioned joint family. Generally speaking, we feel that friends and neighbours are the best options to be with, as they come to your rescue in time of crisis, even before the relatives can reach to lend their helping hand. But does this mean that we shun all ties with the relatives? I don’t think so.

When do relatives matter the most? Well, it is when you plan to celebrate something……maybe a birthday, a naming ceremony of your cute baby, your big day – wedding, joy of your new possession – a beautiful house & house warming, celebrate festivals & rituals, etc. Agreed that we share these precious moments with our friends and immediate family, but relatives also bring in a lot of cheer to these functions. Isn’t there a saying “the more, the merrier”? THAT is the actual feeling to have these otherwise “unwanted” people around at such times.

Many relatives have a habit of poking their nose in the life and personal matters of the concerned individual. This is strongly resented by the person, as NOBODY likes to be dominated and told to lead life as per other’s whims & fancies. This is the time we really regret having any relative. The older generation is more prone to giving lectures about life to the young ones. Actually if you do not have a biased outlook, then you may realize that ALL talks are not in vain and mostly it is a guidance given to the youngster from the mature experience of the elderly. And come on, just because someone gives you a sermon does not imply that you HAVE to follow it.

The role of a relative is widely appreciated when you live in a nuclear family and have only one child. Now the child may have company of his friends from school and neighbourhood, but when it comes to family functions or festivals, it feels very lonely. But if it has a cousin to be with, then festivals like raksha bandhan, diwali (brother’s day) become more meaningful and enjoyable. This presence of a cousin brother / sister gives the child a sense of belonging and feels happy being pampered on the special days.
In many communities (Hindu), the mother’s brother plays a very important role during wedding rituals. So you see, relatives are not actually that bad and useless.

If you make it quite clear to one and all that you like to lead life as per YOUR terms and will not tolerate any outside intervention, then I suppose no one will try to bother you and will surely allow you to have a peaceful existence. Do not shut your doors to them rudely, as you never know from which quarter you may require help in future. Keep your mind and options open as to who need to be enlisted as your “wanted” relatives and who figure on the “unwanted” list.

Just a final friendly advice – as said in the beginning, when we come into this world, the people around us become a part & parcel of our future existence. Whatever are the relationships – friends, relatives, neighbours, siblings etc – it takes a while to establish them, but a second to snap them. Please think before you act or should I say, overreact to any feelings. If the atmosphere is friendly and conducive, then my friends, relatives are not your enemies at all. In fact they are a joyful company.